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The Bible Makes Me Happy.


I know, not a title one expects to see on a page called “The AntiTheist” yet its true none the less. There are, I think, perfectly valid reasons why the bible and indeed all of the other “holy” books should make all non-theists happy.

The holy books, with all their nonsensical claims, factual inaccuracies, and historical half truths make me very happy, and very glad. I can say that for this reason: The nonsense of the various texts gives me comfort BECAUSE it is so patently untrue, so obviously fabricated by men in order to dominate and control other men. This comforts me because if the “holy” books were more credible we might actually have to consider as a feasible possibility that there might be an omni-powerful, omni-present overseer looking down on us and judging our smallest actions and most ethereal thoughts according to its own hidden, confusing, and often contradictory requirements.

If any of the books were more believable we’d have to take as a serious possibility the idea that perhaps we were in fact created to be the grateful slaves of an all-powerful master who designed us with no other purpose than to worship and adore it. We would have to consider the possibility that there is a force in the universe so grand and powerful that it could design and create all of existence from nothing at all, meticulous enough to see to the billions of calculations and various fine tunings necessary to make the universe happen, and yet insecure enough to need us to love it absolutely, without qualm or question, and petty enough to punish us eternally for our failure in said devotion.

Properly read, the Bible is the most potent force for atheism ever conceived.

There’s another aspect of the “holy” books that should make us non-theists very happy. It is engendered by the above quote from Isaac Asimov. How many of us came to our current lack of belief due to either a study of the text, or simply through considering the unlikelihood of the stories we’re told from those texts? Humanity is a more rational, logically minded people than it’s ever been in its history.  That fact combined with the genuine knowledge we now possess about the realities of the world and the universe and the sheer superstitious mysticism throughout the ancient texts makes me hopeful. It gives me reason to believe that more and more people will be able reach past their tradition, culture and social conventions and actually consider what they profess to believe, to see their way free of the flower bedecked chain of theology.

The bible makes me happy because I honestly believe that an objective unemotional study of the text itself is the best case that can possibly be made against the veracity, morality or societal benefit of the claims it makes. This position is equally valid for the various other “holy” books as well. The books themselves are the best weapon atheists, antitheists and other non-theists could possibly have against theological preaching, moralizing and justification.




Ten Things I Can Prove The Bible Is Wrong About

There are a great many people out there who believe that the bible is the word of god, spoken by the creator and transcribed by man. To these people it is inerrant, a perfect source of history fact and truth. A great many believers however haven’t really read the Bible. Most rely on their preachers, parents or other authority figures to tell them what it contains. Below I’ve listed ten things which we can prove, using modern knowledge and science, that the bible is incorrect about. I’ve only included verifiable false statements, so I’ve left out the various accounts of talking snakes, talking shrubbery, witchcraft, reanimation of the dead, fruit that bestows knowledge and a host of other mythological devices that while unlikely in the extreme can’t actually be disproved by modern science.
1. The earth existed before the stars. – Genesis 1:2 -1:18 – modern geological testing tells us that the earth is 4.5 billion years old. (
Radiometric dating of the sun tells us that it is roughly 5 billion years old.( Therefore the sun is roughly half a billion years older than the earth.
2. There were plants before there was sun – Genesis 1:12 – 1:16 – even an elementary understanding of botany makes it more than plain that plants require the sun in order to germinate, grow and live. Plants receive the energy necessary for photosynthesis (the process by which they turn light energy into chemical energy and store it) from the sun. ( Therefore no sun, no plants.
3. The earth is flat and is supported on pillars – Isaiah 11:12, Revelation 7:1, Job 38:13, Daniel 4:11 – the circumference of the spherical earth was first calculated by the Hellenistic astronomer
Eratosthenes in 240 BC. The earth was generally considered to be spherical in both the Hellenistic and Roman periods of antiquity and yet the myth of the earth being flat was not entirely dispelled until Magellan’s circumnavigation of the globe (1519-1522) Proof the earth is round and pillar-less:
4. Humanity is between 6000 and 10,000 years old – This assertion is made by adding up the genealogies of the main characters of the bible and adding the two thousand years between the death of Christ and the modern age. – The fossil record demonstrates the appearance of early Homo sapiens up to half a million years ago and of anatomically modern Homo sapiens 100,000 years ago. These ages are reached through carbon dating, a repeatable, testable, verifiable scientific process.
5. Thousands of Israelites were enslaved in Egypt, rebelled under the leadership of Moses and fled Egypt – Book of Exodus – There is absolutely no historical or archaeological evidence to support the idea that A) Hebrews were ever enslaved in Egypt B) That there was a mass exodus out of Egypt. Not one source except the Old Testament mentions this epic world event. Egyptian history makes no mention of it even though, they were supposedly the victims of  several kinds of far ranging and public supernatural attacks and  lost a Pharaoh and an entire army.
6. Epilepsy is caused by Demons. – Matthew 17: 14 -20 – Epilepsy is caused by damage to the brain ex: tumours, brain injury or infection, not demonic spirits.
7. God promises that the Jews will never lose their land or be disturbed again – 2 Samuel 7: 10-11.  Babylonians, Medes, Greeks, Egyptians, Seleucids, Romans, Turks, Christian Crusaders, Turks (again) have all conquered the city of Jerusalem since the time of Solomon. The Israelites were enslaved and forcefully relocated to Babylon, and 6 million Jews were exterminated by Adolf Hitler’s Nazi regime.
8. King Herod slaughtered babies because he was threatened by news of Jesus. – Matthew 2:16 – This event is only mentioned in this one gospel, none of the others make any mention of it. It goes unmentioned in any period text except the bible, including the works of Flavius Josephus, a historian who wrote a great deal about the life and actions of Herod the Great.
9. Mustard seed is the smallest of all seeds. Matthew 13: 31-32 – The mustard seed is not even close. The smallest seeds in the world belong to tropical orchids whose seeds ore so small they spread on the wind like dust.
10. From a high mountain you can see “all the kingdoms of the earth” – Matthew 4:8 – Once again, the earth is round, it curves, and there is no point on the earth where one can see the whole earth regardless of elevation.
Note: The Noah’s Ark myth is not included here for the simple reason that there is SO much wrong with that particular tale that it would take a huge amount of time and space to list all the things that make it pure fiction.Note 2: For those of you who are Christians and say that the bible is not meant to be taken literally and that it is meant to be interpreted:
“Whoever then relaxes one of the least of these commandments
and teaches men so, shall be called least in the kingdom of heaven.”
Matthew Chapter 5.
This would seem to say “It’s true, all true; no interpretation is necessary, or even permitted.” Wouldn’t it?
The point of this post is simply this. If the bible is wrong about all of these things can it really be the word of god? Wouldn’t god know that the earth was spherical? If it’s not the word of god, and is simply a book of stories and parables meant to reflect the best of bronze age law and morality should it be given the weight it is in society today? Would you take advice on how to build a skyscraper from medieval engineers? Or medical advice from an eighteenth century apothecary?  Of course not. Our knowledge and our societal values have advanced to a point beyond the understanding of the book’s authors. The bible still has it’s place however, after all it has influenced law, art, literature and a host of other aspects of western civilization for centuries. It’s place, in my opinion, is on the shelf beside Homer’s Iliad, the Epic of Gilgamesh and other quasi-historical ancient works.